AFTER 4 YEARS OF SILENCE…
Four years ago my world shattered and I've experienced the biggest heartbreak of my life. My voice, which has always been somewhat shaky and prone to breaking after just a few hours of speaking or singing, gave way completely. I couldn't sing, I couldn't go out. I recorded my first album, BugBomb, which was a dream of mine for so long, on a massive daily dose of steroids just to get through the recordings. It was a time that was meant to be the start of a great success, a dream come true. Instead, it was the beginning of a long downfall. I couldn't really sing anymore, I wasn't productive and I was sad. really sad. I decided to get surgery on my vocal cords to try and heal them. The surgery helped, but It also meant months of silence followed by many more months of vocal rehab. I thought I would get better and soon resume my place in the world as the rockstar I was always meant to be... instead, lo and behold, my musical partner, the person whom I've been playing with since I was 16 years old and the person to whom I credited if not all, most of my musical endeavors to, quit the band. My heart was broken and my spirit crushed.
I went through all the classic stages of grief, depression, thinking I would never sing again. And it wasn't even that I was so amazing before or that my voice was so magical that this was the gravest loss that this world has seen. I was an OK singer, who cares, right? But for me, nothing in my entire life made me feel happier and more whole than singing. The inability to do so was paralyzing. I couldn't sing and the one person I ever wanted to sing with wasn't there anymore.
I was silent for a very long time. Years. But after a while, I started writing again. Not because I was trying to "get back out there" but because that's what I do. I am a songwriter. Writing songs, to me, is a natural way to process my thoughts and feelings.
Eventually, I started singing again. This time it wasn't for anyone else. Just for me. Just to feel better. I learned to play the guitar by myself, learned how to sing better than I ever could before and written songs that are deeper and more meaningful than anything I've ever written.
“THE FIGHT” refers not only to this live session/EP but to the four-year-long battle that I fought to find myself once again. I have never felt prouder and more vulnerable then I am sharing this live session with you. I hope you can appreciate it in this raw state and
stay with me through new beginning. there will be lots more to come in the near future!
A special thanks to Leonid Tomilchik (bass) and Børis Zeldin (percussion) as well as Misha Gulko, Constantine Kostik, and Dmitry Volovik(production team). These beautiful humans stuck with me until I was ready to bring my music back into the world. And now it's time to share it with you.