“Fiction is likely to contain more truth than fact.”
- Virginia Woolf, A Room Of Ones Own.
“-Why can't you fly now, mother?
-Because I am grown up, dearest. When people grow up they forget the way.
-Why do they forget the way?
-Because they are no longer gay and innocent and heartless. It is only the gay and innocent and heartless who can fly.”
- J.M. Barrie, Peter Pen.
Some say I write really sad songs. Others call it atmospheric. You can call it indie or something.
I call it CONCEPTUAL ART.
It doesn't belong to any one genre and has the magical power of shapeshifting to imbody whatever story you need me to tell you in order to convey the emotions and the ideas that I write about.
My name is Varya- singer/songwriter. I’m 27 years old. I was born and raised in a small country, few have even heard about, called Moldova. I moved to New York in middle school with my family. I sang in choirs my whole life, started writing poetry in my early teens, songs by 16, put a band together by 17 failed a couple of times, started over.... are you bored yet? I know I am. Have you even made it to this point of this epic bio?
If you have- congratulations! Your attention span has not yet been reduced to that of a toddler's. See, I know toddlers because I’ve worked very closely with them for over a decade (make this a part of my biography). I learned a lot from them. Aside from knowing all the Frozen and Daniel Tiger songs by heart, probably, the greatest lesson they've taught me was how unapologetically and uncompromisingly themselves they are. When we are small we know exactly what makes us feels good and what doesn’t and have no patience or tolerance for the ladder. Our feelings and emotions are so raw and honest and physical, we simply cannot ignore them. We can’t hide them and aren’t trying to... until a certain age when the world suddenly decides to shape us up. Children are pretty malleable, you see. Anything you say to them becomes a fact. And most of us continue on with our lives believing the “facts” of our childhood to be the truth. Spoiler alert- they almost never are.
In my early, malleable years I learned that I was stupid, ugly, dirty and undisciplined. I learned that I was not worthy of love, respect or my own opinion. I learned to be quiet... It took me half of my life to unlearn these "facts". Spoiler alert- I succeded. I know. Sad. But, to me, the truly sad part is that I am not alone! In one way or another, so many of us had the little toddler crushed inside of us by a thousand pounds of other people’s opinions on who we are and what our place in this world is. Eventually, we forget. We abide. If we are lucky- we’ll find joy in the little things, like our morning coffee in a single-use, styrofoam cup with a plastic lid.
The truth is, I was very scared to write my songs at first, because I heard them knocking and knew they were coming from deep inside, from my very core. I understood that if I let them out I will have to face the truth, the real truth about who I am. But when I finally did- I found that no matter how scary that truth is- nothing compares to the sweet release of accepting it.
Slowly but surely I learned to not only accept but actually love the sound of my own voice, thoughts, and emotions. They gave me power. I learned to listen to the beat of my own heart along with it’s wildest dreams and desires. I took it all and sewed it onto my sleeve for the world to see. I believed that in doing so I'd find me. But what I found was bigger. I found that in my telling the truth about myself I had the power of helping others face theirs. This became my mission. Songwriting became my most honest and authentic expression of myself. The look in the eyes of a listener that says “Thank you for seeing me. I see you too” became my mantra. I started singing more and more, trying to get any gigs available to me. I would play my songs in the streets and subway as often as I could. I was set to fulfill my destiny.
Currently, I am working on new, unreleased music that will soon become my second record while spreading my branches out through the streets of a new city, Austin, TX. I’d like to invite you to join me on this wild ride. Let’s face our truth and feel your feels together. We have so much to discover. So much love to find.
“Take my hand, let’s jump, headfirst into the wind.
Hold my eyes with your eyes. Don’t ever let go.
Let the wind change our course, reshape our molds.
Don’t be scared, I’ve done this before.”